“Almost every other thought I have is about death. If I have met you, I have imagined your death. Not in a malicious way, I do not wish death on anyone, but I think about it too much. In some cases I have written your death scene and felt no remorse for doing so. I’ve hung you, drowned you, burned and buried you alive, broken necks and skulls, given you an overdose, a heart attack, hit you with a car, a bus, a truck and a train.”—Me
“Racist people, interestingly, are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, “Do you mind if I smoke? Oh, you do? Okay, I’ll go outside and have a cigarette.” Racist people never go, “Do you mind if I’m racist? Oh, I’ll go outside … fucking blue people, eh? Coming here, steal our hamsters …”—Eddie Izzard
"Live each day as if it’s your last", that was the conventional advice, but really, who had the energy for that? What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn’t practical. Better by far to simply try and be good and courageous and bold and to make a difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you. Go out there with your passion and your electric typewriter and work hard at something … something. Change lives through art maybe. Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance.
“Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.”—Douglas Adams
“It’s summer. And it’s not just summer, it’s a World Cup Summer, which means that even if you hate football, it’s time to wear lots of red and white, buy a flag, get in a big pack of Pepsi cans and scoff as many Mars bars as possible.”—Me
Mitchell and Webb are a logical choice for the adverts in one sense (everyone likes them), but a curious choice in another, since they are best known for the television series Peep Show, in which Mitchell plays a repressed, neurotic underdog, and Webb plays a selfish, self-regarding poseur. So when you see the ads, you think, “PCs are a bit rubbish yet ultimately lovable, whereas Macs are just smug preening tossers.”
In other words, it is a devastatingly accurate campaign.
“[Billie Piper] is extremely good-looking in a most peculiar way: her eyes, mouth and nostrils all seem to be competing to see which can look biggest on her face. At times she resembles a “Spitting Image” caricature of herself. It shouldn’t work, but it does.”—Charlie Brooker
“If love were a product, the queue at the faulty goods desk would stretch right round the universe and back. It doesn’t work properly. The seams come apart and it’s full of powdered glass.”—Charlie Brooker