“The four food groups are Wine, KFC, Cake and Vodka Jelly. Right?”
—Me, on the possibility of me and Karen moving in together
June 2010
Play
Forms
A form just asked me to choose my title and gave me options of Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, Dr, Rev, Sr, Father, Sir, Lady, Lord, Hon, Marquis, Duke, Major, Col.
Now I’m really annoyed that I’m just plain Mr.
“Driving a Reliant Robin is about as dangerous as inviting your mum around for an evening on Chatroulette.”
—Jeremy Clarkson
James May
It’s a good job ITV didn’t cover the moon landing.
Ten feet.
Beep.
Five feet.
Beep.
…
If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit…
Parody of Ant & Dec's "We're On The Ball"
Our World Cup dream is over
Not much after it begun
We won against Slovenians
But we lost against the Hun
Now the vuvuzelas have
Made us all stone deaf
And now we can never forgive
That thick Uruguayan ref
A draw ‘gainst Algeria, and the USA
That Fabio has got to go
Bring back that stoic Swede!
But since we’re staunchly English
We know what really counts
The football doesn’t matter now
So hear us all announce:
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
Sure the Germans blew our socks off
But we knew we couldn’t win
We didn’t stand a bloody chance
When Green lets the ball in
At least the French are knocked out
Italians out too
But we don’t care about the game
Because we know what’s true:
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
We won the war!
“We’re all stories in the end.”
—The Doctor
“The rest of the world goes on, unknowing, blind to the wonder and the magic. But it is there, everywhere, every day, if you take a moment out from that world of the ordinary just to breathe it in, to dream a little, to feel that magic and that wonder.”
—Robert Rankin
Stephenie Meyer Says...
Apparently, Miss Meyer is burned out on vampires, which is why progress is slow on her new novel, Midnight Sun. She said:
“What’s true is that I’m really burned out on vampires. And, I don’t want to write it badly.”
Come, come, Steph - why change the habit of a lifetime?
“What other people think of you is none of your business.”
—
World Cup Wonderings
Now, I’m no expert on football shenanigans, but even I know that this World Cup is looking weird.
It’s trundling on without France or Italy, but somehow the next round contains Ghana, South Korea, Japan, Slovakia, Paraguay and, weirdest of all, England.
In other news, if Switzerland qualify today, all three of the teams I have in the sweepstake will be through to the final 16!
The Doctor and River
- River: It's a long story, can't be told. Has to be lived. No sneak previews, well, except for this one. You'll see me again quite soon, when the Pandorica opens.
- Doctor: The Pandorica! Ha! That's a fairy tale.
- River: Oh Doctor - aren't we all? I'll see you there.
- Doctor: I look forward to it.
- River: I remember it well.
- ...
- Doctor: Can I trust you, Doctor Song?
- River: If you like! But where's the fun in that?
