January 2011
“Reading will stay with you until the very end,...
Bacon O'Clock
Me: Is it bacon sandwich time?
Andrew: I just had a beefburger, so I'm saying probably.
Me: Yes... of course, the completely correct answer was, "It's always time for a bacon sandwich!"
Andrew: Oh. Is it too late to say that now?
Me: No, go on, I'll look away.
Andrew: Pfft, it's always time for a bacon sandwich.
Me: That's true!
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime...”
– Winston Churchill
Fear
Watching The Stolen Earth.
The fear in the eyes of Martha and Rose and Jack and especially Sarah-Jane. That’s some pretty talented acting. Their eyes fill with no regular sort of fear - it is the fear of something that has haunted all of their dreams since they first encountered the Daleks. For Sarah-Jane, this was a long time ago. She may have got over it by now, forgotten about them as...
Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive,...
The opening sentence of our lives.
“We must not look at goblin men,
We must not buy their fruits:
Who knows upon...”
Me: Phil, what's your favourite type of owl?
Phil: I'm always torn between barn and tawny.
Me: What a weird sentence out of context. I like eagle owls.
Phil: I think people who chose snowy are a bit pretentious.
Hannah: I can't believe you asked him that about owls.
Me: I can't believe he had such a comprehensive answer about it ready.
“Do you remember when the news said “Breaking News”, it meant...”
– Jimmy Carr
10 O'Clock Live
Whoever came up with the idea of putting David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr, Charlie Brooker and Lauren Laverne in a room together for an hour each Thursday is a facking genius and deserves a medal.
There once was a fellow from Woking Who ‘pon a plane trip began choking They said, “Fetch a writer who will With deftness of quill Record proof of what happens when smoking!”
- Me, in retort to Phil’s comment about not needing a writer when someone is choking
“No one’s ever started choking on a plane to have someone say,...”
– Phil, on why my degree won’t lead to a job
“I suppose every child has a world of his own — and every man, too, for the...”
– Lewis Carroll
For anyone keeping track, in The Unicorn and the Wasp, many Agatha Christie titles are namedropped in conversation by characters. They are Why Didn’t They Ask Evans; The Body in the Library; The Secret Adversary; N or M?; Nemesis; Cat Among the Pigeons; Dead Man’s Folly; They Do It With Mirrors; Appointment with Death; Cards on the Table; Sparkling Cyanide; Endless Night; Crooked...
Doctor: Is that an N or M?
Agatha: It's an M. The word is "maiden".
Doctor: MAIDEN! What does that mean?
“See, you’re not a bad looking lad, so there must be some abhorrent aspect...”
– Carla, on why I’m single
“I’m going home. Because that’s where I live and where I keep all my...”
– Phil
“Seriously, there’s an outrageous amount of running involved.”
– Donna, on life with the Doctor
Reblog if you think that Miranda Hart and David...
There’s something about Doctor Who that means that at the end of almost every episode, I well up and get close to tears (or break into tears completely). I’ve just rewatched The Fires of Pompeii and at the end, the Doctor tells the family he saved that it’s never forgotten. That while time passes, stories fade and memories weaken, eventually Pompeii is rediscovered and then...
Jonathan Ross: Sorry Dylan, I was trying to pronounce your name right, I think I got it wrong. It's not Mor-UN, is it? More Mor-AN? Yes?
Dylan Moran: It's pronounced "Fitzsimons".
Bar Talk
Hugo: Hi, I'm Hugo.
Me: I know, Hugo.
Hugo: What? How do you know?
Me: Because you've introduced yourself to me and Claire every other weekend for the past two years and never remembered.
Hugo: Cool. That's all I need to say...
[A little later, Hugo is talking to Claire]
Me: Hugo, is this the first time you've met us?
Hugo: I think so, yeah.
Claire: How stoned are you?
What the Germans think of the British
Stephen Fry: The Germans think the British as untidy. Violent, well, we certainly come in mobs to them. That we're obsessed with royalty, apparently. That we drink tea all the time, rather reserved and can't cook.
Alan Davies: So they've been over then?
With very few exceptions, all of my friends who didn’t go to university are in fairly (in some cases very) well-paid, stable, full-time employment, and all of those who did go to university are unemployed or working part-time in jobs with no future.
What was the point?
“There are so many paedophiles in the Catholic church that it’s sometimes...”
– Jimmy Carr
“Sarah Palin is the only Horseman of the Apocalypse with whom you could...”
– Charlie Brooker
“The prettier it looks, the more likely it is to kill you.”
“If you don’t like someone’s story, write your own.”
– Chinua Achebe
“My weapon is literature.”
– Chinua Achebe
“I need to leave now because I’ve no idea what’s going to happen...”
– Miranda
“For today is, statistically, the most depressing day of the year.
A combination...”
– Blue Monday: Today is the most depressing of the year | Mail Online (via mememolly)
