December 2011
One of my best friends has just got engaged! Happy...
In 1993, total Internet traffic amounted to...
“I’d give my right arm to be a size 12. Actually, my right arm might be a...”
– Sarah Millican
“People can never resist a door.”
– The Doctor
“She’s mad as a box of cats, but a real firecracker.”
– Matt Smith, on Karen Gillan
4 tags
How to cook a turkey (according to my uncle)
First, buy the turkey and a bottle of vodka. Pour yourself a glass of vodka and put the turkey in the oven. Take another 2 drinks of vodka, and set the degree at 375 ovens. Have 3 more vodka of drink and turn the oven on. Take 4 of vodka drinky and turk the bastey. Stick a turkey in the thermometer, and glass yourself a pour of vodka. Bake the vodka for 4 hours, take the oven out of the turkey,...
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all ‘cross the web All the users were clicking, the big names and the plebs Tumblr was decked out in baubles and candles And each tired nickname ‘twas a new festive handle As children by now we’d be snuggled in bed But we now stay online and leave comments instead Sad Keanu is happy (well, well, fancy that!) And holly and ivy surround every Lolcat ...
Victoria Wood
Why do we keep on looking forward to Christmas when we know what it’s going to be like. We never learn. It’s like, if you drop a brick on your foot, you go, “Oh bloody hell, that was painful, I won’t be doing that again”. But looking forward to Christmas is like dropping a brick on your foot one year, and then a few months later going, “Do you know, I’m...
Two other important Desert Boots being made this...
“Don’t you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and...”
– Haruki Murakami (via misswallflower)
“There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You’d think the...”
– Modern Family (via jpaige)
Trying to explain crumpets, sausage rolls,...
YOU KNOW THE FUTURE IS REALLY HAPPENING WHEN YOU...
The trouble with shopping for books online is the loss of serendipity. In a bookshop, you can search all over, pick books up and look at them, examine the entire stock right there in front of you and maybe discover something you wouldn’t normally have found.
Try that on Amazon. You can’t do it. The top pages are dedicated to the bestsellers, the celebrities, prize winners and what...
“Books are alive with the meanings of their makers.”
If we lose physical books, we don't just lose...
We lose the art of using books as flower-presses. We lose writing messages in books for people whom we are gifting books to. In fact, we may even lose giving books as presents. We lose bookmarks. We lose scribbles in the margins. We lose dog-eared pages.
Basically we take something different and turn it into something the same … before, we needed books, a music player, a phone and a...
“There will always be people who fetishise books and insist it is superior to...”
– I am one of those people
3 tags
"Sum" by David Eagleman
In the afterlife you relive all your experiences, but this time with the events reshuffled into a new order: all the moments that share a quality are grouped together.
You spend two months driving the street in front of your house, seven months having sex. You sleep for thirty years without opening your eyes. For five months straight you flip through magazines while sitting on a toilet.
You...
3 tags
"Circle of Friends" by David Eagleman
When you die, you feel as though there were some subtle change, but everything looks approximately the same. You get up and brush your teeth. You kiss your spouse and kids and leave for the office. There is less traffic than normal. The rest of your building seems less full, as though it’s a holiday. But everyone in your office is here, and they greet you kindly. You feel strangely...
“Shakespeare had a very sad life. He died before he could collaborate with Andrew...”
– Victoria Wood
